One week in, and off the rails

And social media is to blame (duh)

One of the early lessons across all my resolutions—from a month of Whole30ish to the daily practices I’d like to incorporate—is that sometimes it’s easier to make and stick to a single absolute decision than it is to moderate / try to reduce / try to increase.

Following a Whole30ish diet (with key coffee and bean exceptions stated upfront) has turned out to be a lot easier for me than making daily decisions made about what to order for lunch / how to eat more protein / whether or not to have dessert.

Deciding to go to sleep by 10 pm is easier than trying to get to bed earlier.

Turning off social media the first and last hours of the day is HELLA easier than trying to reduce time spent on social media.

Tuesday's Spicy Thai Pork Salad was delicious but led to a slightly late dinner, which led to everything else

And this became clear Tuesday night, when I tried to make an exception for just a LITTLE hit of social media after I wrapped up some last work-related items at 9 pm—I mean, I had earned the right to decompress, amiright?—and then blew the next 90 minutes flipping back and forth between the various social platforms, eBay, Amazon, NYT, my Nordstrom app and two email accounts looking for what exactly, I don’t know, apparently something enough to end my evening.

Aside from the Wordle, I did not accomplish a single thing during this time, save putting some foil stars into my cart, because it is becoming clear that I need a little hit of dopamine to keep doing good things that are simple to do if time-grabbing distractions don’t get in the way.

Also important to note, I was not more relaxed after these 90 minutes.

So, let’s review how the day went:

No social media first hour of day: check!

Water before second coffee: check! (And this is rapidly becoming the easiest change I’ve implemented.)

Move: check! It was way easier to get out of bed without the appeal of scrolling myself awake.

Smoothie: check!

Whole30 food we (ok, Per) made ourselves: check! The Spicy Thai Pork Salad was amazing if not appropriate for a weeknight; a later-than-expected dinner didn’t help keep things on track.

No social media after 9 pm: nope…

Bedtime at 10 pm: not quite, I was scrolling until lights out at 11:30 pm.

Nine hours of sleep: not even close—and I had stress dreams to boot.

The following day, I forced myself to take a nap in the middle of my day, which wasn’t convenient and extended my workday, even if it did lead to a more productive day overall. So, I guess I did in fact need that sleep.

It would have been A LOT easier to just not have taken that minute to flip through social media the night before.

I’ll confess that a day or two after posting about “reasonable resolutions” I was kicking myself. I mean, the number of resolutions alone made them unreasonable. Was the Whole30ish / writing commitment not enough?? And then posting that list (any list) to a public audience and announcing, HEY THIS IS WHAT I’M GONNA DO! IT’S NOT MUCH! IT’S REASONABLE!

I’m literally still cringing as I write this.

And yet.

The insanity of too many resolutions is delivering insight I hadn’t expected: how incredibly interrelated all these behaviors are.

And the degree to which every single healthy behavior I want to incorporate is being undermined by social media.

Fuuuuckkkkk.

It’s so painfully obvious I’m cringing all over again.

I mean, it’s not like anyone alive today isn’t aware that social media isn’t a good or healthy thing for all sorts of reasons.

And yet: I’ve tried to go to bed earlier and work out more regularly and maintain a daily writing practice and drink more water and ALL OF THE THINGS. I’ve even seriously considered charging my phone in another room, but it turns out the phone, because I have kids and a boss and a NYT Connections ritual with Per, is a non-negotiable for me. Just like my unwillingness to sacrifice waking up to a first sip of coffee.

But social media is not my phone.

And only one week in, I can see what there is to gain if I can clear just two hours of social media. Weighing benefits versus sacrifice, I find myself wondering how pleasurable I even still find scrolling in bed. Is it even a sacrifice at all?

Despite these insights and the corresponding time limits I’ve set on my phone, I find myself clicking on the icon by rote habit, again and again, and the message my phone gives me is clear:

“You’ve reached your limit on Facebook.”

This week in food: chicken with chickpeas and tomatoes; shrimp with spicy miso glaze; fudge babies

This week in food: Our old favorite chicken-and-chickpeas made with twice the sauce and brined boneless chicken breasts, because nobody seems to carry bone-in chicken now; new favorites miso-glazed shrimp, served with steamed broccolini topped with some extra glaze; and fudge babies compliant sweets (try making with a combination of walnuts and pecans; they taste like a turtle sundae). All recipes now available here.