I can't begin to describe what your words do to me. You write like I want to speak. I am so moved by each and every one of your posts and comments, and can only hope to be able to recognize these feelings when they come crashing in - because they do...and often when I least expect it. Sometimes it's so overwhelming that I can't stop the tears - other times, it's all so surreal that it doesn't seem like it's really happening to me.
I truly believe that my journey was supposed to happen when it did - like it did - just so I could cross your path. Thank you for always being the voice for so many of us that just don't have the courage yet to speak.
Definitely think there is truth to that observation. I never would have come to some of the conclusions I have without having been forced to do so by physical limitations.
Jun 2, 2023·edited Jun 2, 2023Liked by Gina Jacobson
I’m sitting here reading your blog flabbergasted as you put into words what I’ve thought countless times but couldn’t say. As someone who has been NED for 1 year, I’ve frequently thought how cancer changed my life- the way I relate to friends/family, how I internalize challenges, even the trajectory of my career! So many things I would never have had the “courage” to do without that diagnosis.
Thank you so much for sharing how you experienced this post and your journey as a fellow survivor. I read an article a few months back about how cancer survivors experience post-traumatic growth, and suddenly my experience made a lot more sense to me. Sounds like you had post-traumatic growth of your own!
I just dove in here so seem to be catching your cancer journey at the end Gina, it’s hard to tell from one article so I’ll keep reading.
Thankfully, I have never had to experience cancer so I come to your work with the perspective of an outsider. I’m so glad I found you because, with all due respect to the uphill road you have travelled, your teachings are bigger than this pathology.
You are touching on subconscious thought patterns we all carry that need to see the light of day in order for us to become whole humans.
When you wrote you ‘felt you may not have internalized the lessons you need to learn and may go backwards’… wow! This reminds me of the world of recovery where folks think the work is in giving up the substance but usually the biggest challenge comes later in healing your whole self on a much different level.
Grieving the loss of cancer is such huge insight! Recognizing that impact and unpacking it must have caused such an internal shift, I look forward to reading more of your posts to hear about it.
You’re right - you’re about 8 months into a yearlong project where I look back on my first four years with cancer on my way to my five year anniversary. This post was written about two years after my diagnosis; and each post is a sort of “look back” journal which shares the real story when I wasn’t as forthcoming and/or insights I have today looking back.
The project started as a way to get myself moving on a memoir; but has ended up being a crucial part of my own healing journey as I try to make meaning of what happened to me over those years (and is still happening now!).
Today I’ve been NED for nine months - just a little longer than this Substack has been in existence. : )
Thank you so much for your insight and contrition! I think you about nailed what this has become - and potentially why it’s read by those who have not had cancer experiences.
I can't begin to describe what your words do to me. You write like I want to speak. I am so moved by each and every one of your posts and comments, and can only hope to be able to recognize these feelings when they come crashing in - because they do...and often when I least expect it. Sometimes it's so overwhelming that I can't stop the tears - other times, it's all so surreal that it doesn't seem like it's really happening to me.
I truly believe that my journey was supposed to happen when it did - like it did - just so I could cross your path. Thank you for always being the voice for so many of us that just don't have the courage yet to speak.
Amie, your note literally stunned me to silence. Just, thank you. You cannot begin to know what a gift this was. ❤️❤️❤️
I’m hearing that cancer maybe gave you a perverse permission? Beautiful, hard almost-unsayable things put so eloquently.
Definitely think there is truth to that observation. I never would have come to some of the conclusions I have without having been forced to do so by physical limitations.
I’m sitting here reading your blog flabbergasted as you put into words what I’ve thought countless times but couldn’t say. As someone who has been NED for 1 year, I’ve frequently thought how cancer changed my life- the way I relate to friends/family, how I internalize challenges, even the trajectory of my career! So many things I would never have had the “courage” to do without that diagnosis.
Thank you so much for sharing how you experienced this post and your journey as a fellow survivor. I read an article a few months back about how cancer survivors experience post-traumatic growth, and suddenly my experience made a lot more sense to me. Sounds like you had post-traumatic growth of your own!
What does NED mean. I can deduce it means cancer free but not sure what the acronym is for.
Also it wonderful you are NED!!
No Evidence of Disease is the new remission. : )
Thank you!!
I just dove in here so seem to be catching your cancer journey at the end Gina, it’s hard to tell from one article so I’ll keep reading.
Thankfully, I have never had to experience cancer so I come to your work with the perspective of an outsider. I’m so glad I found you because, with all due respect to the uphill road you have travelled, your teachings are bigger than this pathology.
You are touching on subconscious thought patterns we all carry that need to see the light of day in order for us to become whole humans.
When you wrote you ‘felt you may not have internalized the lessons you need to learn and may go backwards’… wow! This reminds me of the world of recovery where folks think the work is in giving up the substance but usually the biggest challenge comes later in healing your whole self on a much different level.
Grieving the loss of cancer is such huge insight! Recognizing that impact and unpacking it must have caused such an internal shift, I look forward to reading more of your posts to hear about it.
You’re right - you’re about 8 months into a yearlong project where I look back on my first four years with cancer on my way to my five year anniversary. This post was written about two years after my diagnosis; and each post is a sort of “look back” journal which shares the real story when I wasn’t as forthcoming and/or insights I have today looking back.
The project started as a way to get myself moving on a memoir; but has ended up being a crucial part of my own healing journey as I try to make meaning of what happened to me over those years (and is still happening now!).
Today I’ve been NED for nine months - just a little longer than this Substack has been in existence. : )
Thank you so much for your insight and contrition! I think you about nailed what this has become - and potentially why it’s read by those who have not had cancer experiences.